[Everyone] Re: Windows 95 called and they want their mail app back.

Tom A.
Wed Nov 27 11:41:13 UTC 2013

christ who are these clowns

i was halfway through our migration to the new Lotus Notes when I got
trapped inside this laser printer

could somebody hit Form Feed on the Laserjet in the nook between Randy
Newman and Chris De Burgh? maybe that will get a hard copy of me out.

Tom A.
Network Solutions (former)

On Mon, Nov 25, 2013 at 6:08 PM, Matt W.  wrote:

> Hello Yahoos,
> Earlier this year we asked you to move to Yahoo Mail for your corporate
> email account. 25% of you made the switch (thank you). But even if we used
> the most generous of grading curves (say, the one from organic chemistry),
> we have clearly failed in our goal to move our co-workers to Yahoo Mail.
> It’s time for the remaining 75% to make the switch. Beyond the practical
> benefits of giving feedback to your colleagues on the Mail team, as a
> company it’s a matter of principle to use the products we make. (BTW, same
> for Search.)
> For some reading this email, you are saying, “Jeff, shut up, you had me at
> hello.” *hug* Jump over to yo/dogfood, click “Corp Mail/Cal/ Messenger” and
> you are ready to join our brave new world at yo/corpmail or
> https://mail.yahoo-inc.com.
> For others, you might now be running in your head to a well worn path of
> justified resistance, phoning up the ol’ gang, circling the hippocampian
> wagons of amygdalian resistance. Hold on a sec, pilgrim.
> First, it doesn’t feel like we are asking you to abandon some glorious
> place of communications nirvana. At this point in your life, Outlook may be
> familiar, which we can often confuse with productive or well designed.
> Certainly, we can admire the application for its survival, an anachronism
> of the now defunct 90s PC era, a pre-web program written at a time when NT
> Server terrorized the data center landscape with the confidence of a T-Rex
> born to yuppie dinosaur parents who fully bought into the illusion of their
> son’s utter uniqueness because the big-mouthed, tiny-armed monster infant
> could mimic the gestures of The Itsy-Bitsy Pterodactyl. There was a similar
> outcry when we moved away from Outlook’s suite-mates in the Microsoft
> Office dreadnaught. But whether it’s familiarity, laziness or simple
> stubbornness dressed in a cloak of Ayn Randian Objectivism, the time has
> come to move on, commrade [sic...go deep in this pun, it is layered].
> Using corp mail from the Y Mail web interface is remarkably feature rich.
> It supports booking conference rooms, folders, calendar, filters and global
> address book. Plus, you get built-in Messenger, smart conversation
> threading, powerful keyboard shortcuts, the new quick actions, attachment
> preview and our beautiful new rich themes. In the rare case you do need
> Outlook, like adding a delegate for your calendar, you can still fire up
> Outlook for 30 seconds.
> But wait there’s more. By using corporate Mail, you’ll automatically get
> to dogfood our new features first. I’m especially excited about a new
> feature premiering in just a few more days: smart auto-suggest, powered by
> a platform from the still-have-that-new-acquisition-smell Xobni team. We
> have been testing this feature with select users in and out of the company
> and the response has been fantastic: “Whoa!”, “Amazing”, “Already in love
> with it. Woot!” and, my favorite, “So nicely integrated that it appears as
> if it’s always been there. I already can’t imagine it not being there
> again.”
> Feeling that little tingle? Take a deep breath, you can do this. We want
> you on board, sailor!
> Please note, on the mobile side, corp mail is not yet supported in our
> Mail app for Android or iOS, but that will change (PB&J!). And, like all
> dogfood offerings, there is a feedback link in the product. Use it
> generously so we can make the improvements to make Yahoo Mail the
> unquestioned inbox champion of the world. I pitty [sic] the fool who
> resists.
> Thanks for your support. It really does matter and we appreciate it.
> Jeff Bonforte, SVP Communications Products
> Randy Roumillat, CIO
> _______________________________________________
> Everyone mailing list
> http://www.pretendoffice.co.uk/
> --
> This email and any attachments to it may be confidential and are intended
> solely for the use of the individual to whom it is addressed. Any views or
> opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily
> represent those of Pretend Office.
> If you are not the intended recipient of this email, you must neither take
> any action based upon its contents, nor copy or show it to anyone.
> Please contact the sender if you believe you have received this email in
> error.

Tom A.
07813 060578
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <#/attachments/20131127/7949aa40/attachment-0001.html>

More information about the Everyone mailing list