[Everyone] Re: Pretend App-ice

Thu Nov 24 14:00:13 GMT 2011

Phil, thank you for this memo.

Here are my thoughts about the Pretend iApp (perhaps we should call it

1. Angry Nerds

This would be a puzzle game based on our IT department. The Sales team
have stolen the IT department's eggs! Can you launch members of the
support desk team from a catapult made of rubber bands from the
stationary cupboard, to destroy the fortresses that Sales have built
out of old Timesheets?

This game would be popular with kids. We could also build it in Flash
for use on a "Hey Kidz!" section on our web portal web.

2. Pretend Store

As part of our company Re-Ignition Programme (Pretend R.I.P), we
should re-organise our business around a new sales platform for
"apps". We simply create an app through which others can make and sell
apps, and we'd take 30% of everything! This could do wonders for our
bottom line!

Let's get those teenagers in the tents in Reception to build the app
for us - shouldn't take long, we could bung them a couple of hundred
quid for it - then get our Pretend Store app on the App Store as soon
as possible.

We should price the Pretend Store app at £49.99 to make as much money
from it as possible.

3. We should submit all company reports, white papers, and
non-classfied documents to the Newsstand section of the app store as
well, so that clients and partners can "subscribe" to all the stuff we
produce. We'd make money from doing something we already have to do
but don't currently make money from!

That's a double whammy, or possibly even more whammy than that.

Kind regards

Client-Vision Liaison Officer (Solutions)

On 23 November 2011 17:52, Tom A.  wrote:
> Following the April 1st sweepstake, it has been declared that Pretend
> will be working towards producing an official Pretend Office "app". IT
> appear to have been given the responsibility of organising meeting
> around this, although not steering it in any way.
> With that in mind, we've been asked to provide input - from Pretend
> Employees - as to what an ideal Pretend App would do. As such, there
> will be a brainstorming meeting in Cosmo at half past four on
> THURSDAY.  (Contrary to hearsay, it will not be in Dibbs, which is
> occupied by a Desk Pilates session).
> Please come and bring your best ideas. There will be biscuits.
> (It's unclear as to whether or not Pretend is still a 'start-up', as
> was claimed when this initiative was begun, but let's at least credit
> everyone for trying to see this through to the end).
> --
> Tom A.
> IT Support
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