[Everyone] IT Out-Sourcing Update

Mon Jan 4 10:50:45 GMT 2010

Fellow Spreadsheet-Enthusiasts,

A decision is imminent regarding the Outsourcing of Global IT Operations.
Impressive bids have been entered by Semens, Spotify, and Cap Jeremy.
CorpExec will be studying the bids during a specially organised Mission Road
Trip to Hawaii later this week.

We cannot determine the outcome of this Road Trip in advance, although all
staff are advised to read the pages entitled "What we do when we take over
your IT globally" on the Semens web site:


If our IT operations, Global or Local, are indeed taken over by any of the
bidders and particularly Semens, it will mean that some of our IT staff will
become Semens employeers. This will make no difference at all to them,
except that their working hours may change and their salary may be adjusted
downwards to reflect their elevated productivity status. Congratulations to
all concerned in advance!

There will also be no discernable effect on day-to-day operations on
computers by Pretend staff, except that all Passwords will be changed, and
the Lotus Notes file system will undergo a minor re-structuring. Your files
will all be saved, but may not be in the same places where you left them. It
is up to you to locate them again; this is not an IT Support role or task.
Time used for this process is unbillable and will not be paid.

I trust that's all clear.

Kind regards

Executive Account Executive (Level 4) (Operational Status) (Level 2) (Actual
functionation-pod location)
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