[Everyone] Re: New employee Welcome Pack

Phil
Mon Nov 2 11:55:08 GMT 2009


Hi all,

Giles, I mentioned this excellent initiative to Derek and he thought  
we may need to get new hirees to sign a waiver in light of past  
experience with some of these promotional merchandising merchandise.  
They're particularly worried about the spring-loaded biros after  
Jenny's accident and the time one of the new trainees got lost in the  
complex due to the "artistic" nature of the map.

Could you run the Packs past the legal eagles at your earliest first  
opportunity now?

Thankyou.


On 2 Nov, 2009, at 11:33, Giles wrote:

> Phil,
>
> I believe they have been "RE-Furbyed" since the India Incident, and  
> all hazardous chemicals removed. They have been sitting in the  
> Promotional Gifts (Under 12s) storage container in the car park for  
> at least a year now.
>
> They do smell a bit funny, but that's what comes of sitting in a  
> container for all that time, probably.
>
> I'm sure all new staff will appreciate the thoughtfullity of such a  
> gift.
>
> Kind regards
>
> Giles
> Executive Account Executive (Level 4)
>
>
>
>
> 2009/11/2 Phil 
> Hi all,
>
> Giles, are the squeezy "HUG ME" slugs the ones that had to be  
> recalled from sale in India, or are they new?
>
> Thankyou.
>
>
>
>
> On 2 Nov, 2009, at 09:17, Giles wrote:
>
> Fellow practitioners-of-excellence,
>
> CorpExec wishes to action an Employee Welcome Pack which can be used
> to welcome new employees to the company. Now that we are seeing the
> Green Shots of Recovery in the economy, it is time to re-configure our
> abandoned projects and re-focus on Profit!
>
> That will be our new slogan of the week: "Re-focus on Profit!"
>
> We will be taking on new staff in the forthcoming weeks, and they need
> to be welcomed appropriately.
>
> Employee Welcome Packs will contain:
>
> - a map of the Pretend office complex (leaving out Sector 12 and the
> Waste Processing Plant, for obvious reasons)
> - another map showing locations of coffee machines, toilets, and
> Welcome Pack Recycling bins
> - an electronic locker key (we are still awaiting delivery of the
> lockers - yes, I know these have been pending since 1996. Apparently
> there is an ongoing problem with a printer which has held things up a
> little.)
> - a balloon bearing the phrase "Pretending to all your client needs
> since 1983" on it
> - a squeezy "HUG ME" Pretend Office slug mascot toy
> - a biro
> - a post-it note with the new employee's Employee ID number, Employee
> Security Logon, Employee Personnel DNA Fingerprint Code, and building
> access codes (sectors 1 through 11, for obvious reasons)
>
> There is still room in the Welcome Packs for some other items, and
> I've no doubt that some of you (especially Department Heads!) will be
> keen to have some input. Please make your suggestions known as soon as
> possible.
>
> There will be a fire Drill today at 12 noon (noon).
>
> Kind regards
>
> Giles
> Executive Account Executive (Level 4)
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> -- 
> Phil BA(Hons)
> VP of Visioning Management and Corporate Resourcing
> http//:www.pretendoffice.co.uk
> tel: +44 (0)20 7946 0372
> mob(ile): +44 (0)7700 900837
>
> "Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep  
> moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit." Conrad Hilton
>
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> Everyone mailing list
> 
> http://www.pretendoffice.co.uk/
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> --
> This email and any attachments to it may be confidential and are  
> intended solely for the use of the individual to whom it is  
> addressed. Any views or opinions expressed are solely those of the  
> author and do not necessarily represent those of Pretend Office.
> If you are not the intended recipient of this email, you must  
> neither take any action based upon its contents, nor copy or show it  
> to anyone.
> Please contact the sender if you believe you have received this  
> email in error.
>
> _______________________________________________
> Everyone mailing list
> 
> http://www.pretendoffice.co.uk/
>
> --
> This email and any attachments to it may be confidential and are  
> intended solely for the use of the individual to whom it is  
> addressed. Any views or opinions expressed are solely those of the  
> author and do not necessarily represent those of Pretend Office.
> If you are not the intended recipient of this email, you must  
> neither take any action based upon its contents, nor copy or show it  
> to anyone.
> Please contact the sender if you believe you have received this  
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-- 
Phil BA(Hons)
VP of Visioning Management and Corporate Resourcing
http//:www.pretendoffice.co.uk
tel: +44 (0)20 7946 0372
mob(ile): +44 (0)7700 900837

"Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep  
moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit." Conrad Hilton

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