[Everyone] UREGNT: SPINE FLU ACTIONS

Giles
Wed Jul 15 12:55:41 GMT 2009


Fellow Viral-Carriers,

The following steps are to be taken if any member of Team is found to
be, or suspected of being, a carrier of the deadly Spine Fly viral
that is sweeping through our city and other cities in addition.

1. If you think you have the deadly Spine Flu, please remove yourself
to Ella Fitzgerald (formerly Michael Jackson formerly King Tubby).
This meeting room has been declared a QUARANTINE ZONE. No-one who
enters may leave without a signed doctors certificate from their
doctor saying they are CLEAN.

2. You may continue to work in Ella Fitzgerald. A separate WiFi
network has been set up to avoid cross-contamination of your deadly
viral with any others in the building. So if you are working in Ella
Fitzgerald, please use the network called "CONTAMINATED". The password
is "filth".

3. A ZONE OF PASSAGE has been created between Ella Fitzgerald and
Reception, along the following route:

- slide 6A
- canteen mezzanine (to the left of the donkey chairs)
- maintenance shaft/crawlspace from canteen to Room of Thoughtful Reflection
- back stairs
- catering department secondary corridor (deliveries)
- reception

If you are infected, you may use this ZONE OF PASSAGE to get to and
from the QUARANTINE ZONE (assuming you have the required doctors
note).

3a. The sides of the ZONE OF PASSAGE have been painted with bright
yellow stripes. Infected persons are to remain inside the stripes;
disinfected persons should remain outside the stripes.

4. Infected persons using the ZONE OF PASSAGE must AT ALL TIMES wear
an "I AM INFECTED WITH SPINE FLU" hat. These red-and-green striped
hats are available from Louise at reception. They should not be
confused with the green-and-red striped hats distributed last month to
celebrate Monetary Achievement Month, which of course all staff should
be wearing between 4pm and 5pm on Tuesdays.

5. Please DO NOT sneeze on your co-workers and team-people. If you do
sneeze, someone in the room should report this incident by calling the
Accident and Incident Unit on ext 33288918 ext 4.

Kind regards

Giles
Executive Account Executive (Level 4)


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