From phil at gyford.com Fri Sep 16 10:41:57 2011 From: phil at gyford.com (Phil) Date: Fri, 16 Sep 2011 11:41:57 +0100 Subject: [Everyone] Company Slimming Salon Message-ID: <> Hi all, Please be sure to attend the usual mandatory Friday "Slimming Salon" in Sir John Harvey Jones at 2pm GMT. I noted that numbers last week were somewhat lower than they should have been. While declining attendance is to be expected given how many "surplus pounds" the company has shed during this ongoing process of "shaping up" for the "lean times" ahead, all remaining Valued Associates must still be present. Please note that following last week's tearful speech by Dennis (or "the old post guy" as many of us knew him) after he was shed, there will be no such further such opportunities. All those Associates dropped will be immediately lead from the room by prior-appointed Slimming Champions in order to speed up the "weight loss" process and get the remaining members of the firm young body back to work! Also please note that if you have been appointed a Slimming Champion for today's Slimming Salon, this does not guarantee that you are not a surplus pound yourself. Remember, "We're all in this together!" (except those of Level 8 and above). Thankyou. -- Phil BA(Hons) MD http//:www.pretendoffice.co.uk tel: +44 (0)20 7946 0372 mob(ile): +44 (0)7700 900837 "If you really want something you can figure out how to make it happen." Cher From giles at gilest.org Fri Sep 16 10:43:34 2011 From: giles at gilest.org (Giles) Date: Fri, 16 Sep 2011 11:43:34 +0100 Subject: [Everyone] Re: Company Slimming Salon In-Reply-To: <> References: <> Message-ID: Thanks Phil. Will there be biscuits provided at this meeting? Kind regards Giles Client-Vision Liaison Officer (Solutions) On 16 September 2011 11:41, Phil wrote: > Hi all, > > Please be sure to attend the usual mandatory Friday "Slimming Salon" in Sir John Harvey Jones at 2pm GMT. > > I noted that numbers last week were somewhat lower than they should have been. While declining attendance is to be expected given how many "surplus pounds" the company has shed during this ongoing process of "shaping up" for the "lean times" ahead, all remaining Valued Associates must still be present. > > Please note that following last week's tearful speech by Dennis (or "the old post guy" as many of us knew him) after he was shed, there will be no such further such opportunities. All those Associates dropped will be immediately lead from the room by prior-appointed Slimming Champions in order to speed up the "weight loss" process and get the remaining members of the firm young body back to work! > > Also please note that if you have been appointed a Slimming Champion for today's Slimming Salon, this does not guarantee that you are not a surplus pound yourself. > > Remember, "We're all in this together!" (except those of Level 8 and above). > > Thankyou. > > > -- > Phil BA(Hons) > MD > http//:www.pretendoffice.co.uk > tel: +44 (0)20 7946 0372 > mob(ile): +44 (0)7700 900837 > > "If you really want something you can figure out how to make it happen." Cher > > _______________________________________________ > Everyone mailing list > Everyone at lists.pretendoffice.co.uk > http://www.pretendoffice.co.uk/ > > -- > This email and any attachments to it may be confidential and are intended solely for the use of the individual to whom it is addressed. Any views or opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of Pretend Office. > If you are not the intended recipient of this email, you must neither take any action based upon its contents, nor copy or show it to anyone. > Please contact the sender if you believe you have received this email in error. > From phil at gyford.com Fri Sep 16 10:50:22 2011 From: phil at gyford.com (Phil) Date: Fri, 16 Sep 2011 11:50:22 +0100 Subject: [Everyone] Re: Company Slimming Salon In-Reply-To: References: <> Message-ID: <> Hi all, Giles, this week's Meeting Snack Rations were unfortunately used by Monday morning's Extraordinary Executive Summit. I'm sure that if we all pull together we will see our way out of these difficult times and we will be able to return to the happy days of one rich tea biscuit per person for every meeting at which eight or more people are present, at least five of whom must be clients classified as Liable To Positively Impact Input Streams. Think of that as your inspiration for giving 120% for the next few quarters going forward!!! Thankyou. On 16 Sep, 2011, at 11:43, Giles wrote: > Thanks Phil. Will there be biscuits provided at this meeting? > > Kind regards > > Giles > Client-Vision Liaison Officer (Solutions) > > On 16 September 2011 11:41, Phil wrote: >> Hi all, >> >> Please be sure to attend the usual mandatory Friday "Slimming Salon" in Sir John Harvey Jones at 2pm GMT. >> >> I noted that numbers last week were somewhat lower than they should have been. While declining attendance is to be expected given how many "surplus pounds" the company has shed during this ongoing process of "shaping up" for the "lean times" ahead, all remaining Valued Associates must still be present. >> >> Please note that following last week's tearful speech by Dennis (or "the old post guy" as many of us knew him) after he was shed, there will be no such further such opportunities. All those Associates dropped will be immediately lead from the room by prior-appointed Slimming Champions in order to speed up the "weight loss" process and get the remaining members of the firm young body back to work! >> >> Also please note that if you have been appointed a Slimming Champion for today's Slimming Salon, this does not guarantee that you are not a surplus pound yourself. >> >> Remember, "We're all in this together!" (except those of Level 8 and above). >> >> Thankyou. >> >> >> -- >> Phil BA(Hons) >> MD >> http//:www.pretendoffice.co.uk >> tel: +44 (0)20 7946 0372 >> mob(ile): +44 (0)7700 900837 >> >> "If you really want something you can figure out how to make it happen." Cher >> >> _______________________________________________ >> Everyone mailing list >> Everyone at lists.pretendoffice.co.uk >> http://www.pretendoffice.co.uk/ >> >> -- >> This email and any attachments to it may be confidential and are intended solely for the use of the individual to whom it is addressed. Any views or opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of Pretend Office. >> If you are not the intended recipient of this email, you must neither take any action based upon its contents, nor copy or show it to anyone. >> Please contact the sender if you believe you have received this email in error. >> > _______________________________________________ > Everyone mailing list > Everyone at lists.pretendoffice.co.uk > http://www.pretendoffice.co.uk/ > > -- > This email and any attachments to it may be confidential and are intended solely for the use of the individual to whom it is addressed. Any views or opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of Pretend Office. > If you are not the intended recipient of this email, you must neither take any action based upon its contents, nor copy or show it to anyone. > Please contact the sender if you believe you have received this email in error. -- Phil BA(Hons) MD http//:www.pretendoffice.co.uk tel: +44 (0)20 7946 0372 mob(ile): +44 (0)7700 900837 "If you really want something you can figure out how to make it happen." Cher From giles at gilest.org Fri Sep 16 10:55:56 2011 From: giles at gilest.org (Giles) Date: Fri, 16 Sep 2011 11:55:56 +0100 Subject: [Everyone] Re: Company Slimming Salon In-Reply-To: <> References: <> <> Message-ID: I have received this message. Kind regards Giles Client-Vision Liaison Officer (Solutions) On 16 September 2011 11:50, Phil wrote: > Hi all, > > Giles, this week's Meeting Snack Rations were unfortunately used by Monday morning's Extraordinary Executive Summit. > > I'm sure that if we all pull together we will see our way out of these difficult times and we will be able to return to the happy days of one rich tea biscuit per person for every meeting at which eight or more people are present, at least five of whom must be clients classified as Liable To Positively Impact Input Streams. > > Think of that as your inspiration for giving 120% for the next few quarters going forward!!! > > Thankyou. > > > > On 16 Sep, 2011, at 11:43, Giles wrote: > >> Thanks Phil. Will there be biscuits provided at this meeting? >> >> Kind regards >> >> Giles >> Client-Vision Liaison Officer (Solutions) >> >> On 16 September 2011 11:41, Phil wrote: >>> Hi all, >>> >>> Please be sure to attend the usual mandatory Friday "Slimming Salon" in Sir John Harvey Jones at 2pm GMT. >>> >>> I noted that numbers last week were somewhat lower than they should have been. While declining attendance is to be expected given how many "surplus pounds" the company has shed during this ongoing process of "shaping up" for the "lean times" ahead, all remaining Valued Associates must still be present. >>> >>> Please note that following last week's tearful speech by Dennis (or "the old post guy" as many of us knew him) after he was shed, there will be no such further such opportunities. All those Associates dropped will be immediately lead from the room by prior-appointed Slimming Champions in order to speed up the "weight loss" process and get the remaining members of the firm young body back to work! >>> >>> Also please note that if you have been appointed a Slimming Champion for today's Slimming Salon, this does not guarantee that you are not a surplus pound yourself. >>> >>> Remember, "We're all in this together!" (except those of Level 8 and above). >>> >>> Thankyou. >>> >>> >>> -- >>> Phil BA(Hons) >>> MD >>> http//:www.pretendoffice.co.uk >>> tel: +44 (0)20 7946 0372 >>> mob(ile): +44 (0)7700 900837 >>> >>> "If you really want something you can figure out how to make it happen." Cher >>> >>> _______________________________________________ >>> Everyone mailing list >>> Everyone at lists.pretendoffice.co.uk >>> http://www.pretendoffice.co.uk/ >>> >>> -- >>> This email and any attachments to it may be confidential and are intended solely for the use of the individual to whom it is addressed. Any views or opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of Pretend Office. >>> If you are not the intended recipient of this email, you must neither take any action based upon its contents, nor copy or show it to anyone. >>> Please contact the sender if you believe you have received this email in error. >>> >> _______________________________________________ >> Everyone mailing list >> Everyone at lists.pretendoffice.co.uk >> http://www.pretendoffice.co.uk/ >> >> -- >> This email and any attachments to it may be confidential and are intended solely for the use of the individual to whom it is addressed. Any views or opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of Pretend Office. >> If you are not the intended recipient of this email, you must neither take any action based upon its contents, nor copy or show it to anyone. >> Please contact the sender if you believe you have received this email in error. > > > > -- > Phil BA(Hons) > MD > http//:www.pretendoffice.co.uk > tel: +44 (0)20 7946 0372 > mob(ile): +44 (0)7700 900837 > > "If you really want something you can figure out how to make it happen." Cher > > _______________________________________________ > Everyone mailing list > Everyone at lists.pretendoffice.co.uk > http://www.pretendoffice.co.uk/ > > -- > This email and any attachments to it may be confidential and are intended solely for the use of the individual to whom it is addressed. Any views or opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of Pretend Office. > If you are not the intended recipient of this email, you must neither take any action based upon its contents, nor copy or show it to anyone. > Please contact the sender if you believe you have received this email in error. > From spaceboy at gmail.com Fri Sep 16 11:19:33 2011 From: spaceboy at gmail.com (Anno) Date: Fri, 16 Sep 2011 12:19:33 +0100 Subject: [Everyone] Re: Company Slimming Salon In-Reply-To: References: <> <> Message-ID: <> OUT OF OFFICE RESPONSE I will be offsite on Friday 16th September and respond to your email on my return. If your enquiry is regarding the Excelling through Excellence! conference please contact Genevieve Wiston If your enquiry is in connection with the immediate redeployment strategy - or you have questions regarding immediate redeployment please contact Quentin Lomo If your enquiry is regarding changes to the matrix champion network please contact Limahl Sidwise (nee Baker) If your enquiry is regarding the global senior management leadership development away weekend in Tangiers please contact Fergus Fergus If you are emailing in response to your results from the "Am I company fat or not?" online form on portalway please email Eve Truncheon at the earliest possible opportunity on On 16 September 2011 11:55, Giles wrote: > I have received this message. > > Kind regards > > Giles > Client-Vision Liaison Officer (Solutions) > > On 16 September 2011 11:50, Phil wrote: >> Hi all, >> >> Giles, this week's Meeting Snack Rations were unfortunately used by Monday morning's Extraordinary Executive Summit. >> >> I'm sure that if we all pull together we will see our way out of these difficult times and we will be able to return to the happy days of one rich tea biscuit per person for every meeting at which eight or more people are present, at least five of whom must be clients classified as Liable To Positively Impact Input Streams. >> >> Think of that as your inspiration for giving 120% for the next few quarters going forward!!! >> >> Thankyou. >> >> >> >> On 16 Sep, 2011, at 11:43, Giles wrote: >> >>> Thanks Phil. Will there be biscuits provided at this meeting? >>> >>> Kind regards >>> >>> Giles >>> Client-Vision Liaison Officer (Solutions) >>> >>> On 16 September 2011 11:41, Phil wrote: >>>> Hi all, >>>> >>>> Please be sure to attend the usual mandatory Friday "Slimming Salon" in Sir John Harvey Jones at 2pm GMT. >>>> >>>> I noted that numbers last week were somewhat lower than they should have been. While declining attendance is to be expected given how many "surplus pounds" the company has shed during this ongoing process of "shaping up" for the "lean times" ahead, all remaining Valued Associates must still be present. >>>> >>>> Please note that following last week's tearful speech by Dennis (or "the old post guy" as many of us knew him) after he was shed, there will be no such further such opportunities. All those Associates dropped will be immediately lead from the room by prior-appointed Slimming Champions in order to speed up the "weight loss" process and get the remaining members of the firm young body back to work! >>>> >>>> Also please note that if you have been appointed a Slimming Champion for today's Slimming Salon, this does not guarantee that you are not a surplus pound yourself. >>>> >>>> Remember, "We're all in this together!" (except those of Level 8 and above). >>>> >>>> Thankyou. >>>> >>>> >>>> -- >>>> Phil BA(Hons) >>>> MD >>>> http//:www.pretendoffice.co.uk >>>> tel: +44 (0)20 7946 0372 >>>> mob(ile): +44 (0)7700 900837 >>>> >>>> "If you really want something you can figure out how to make it happen." Cher >>>> >>>> _______________________________________________ >>>> Everyone mailing list >>>> Everyone at lists.pretendoffice.co.uk >>>> http://www.pretendoffice.co.uk/ >>>> >>>> -- >>>> This email and any attachments to it may be confidential and are intended solely for the use of the individual to whom it is addressed. Any views or opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of Pretend Office. >>>> If you are not the intended recipient of this email, you must neither take any action based upon its contents, nor copy or show it to anyone. >>>> Please contact the sender if you believe you have received this email in error. >>>> >>> _______________________________________________ >>> Everyone mailing list >>> Everyone at lists.pretendoffice.co.uk >>> http://www.pretendoffice.co.uk/ >>> >>> -- >>> This email and any attachments to it may be confidential and are intended solely for the use of the individual to whom it is addressed. Any views or opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of Pretend Office. >>> If you are not the intended recipient of this email, you must neither take any action based upon its contents, nor copy or show it to anyone. >>> Please contact the sender if you believe you have received this email in error. >> >> >> >> -- >> Phil BA(Hons) >> MD >> http//:www.pretendoffice.co.uk >> tel: +44 (0)20 7946 0372 >> mob(ile): +44 (0)7700 900837 >> >> "If you really want something you can figure out how to make it happen." Cher >> >> _______________________________________________ >> Everyone mailing list >> Everyone at lists.pretendoffice.co.uk >> http://www.pretendoffice.co.uk/ >> >> -- >> This email and any attachments to it may be confidential and are intended solely for the use of the individual to whom it is addressed. Any views or opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of Pretend Office. >> If you are not the intended recipient of this email, you must neither take any action based upon its contents, nor copy or show it to anyone. >> Please contact the sender if you believe you have received this email in error. >> > _______________________________________________ > Everyone mailing list > Everyone at lists.pretendoffice.co.uk > http://www.pretendoffice.co.uk/ > > -- > This email and any attachments to it may be confidential and are intended solely for the use of the individual to whom it is addressed. Any views or opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of Pretend Office. > If you are not the intended recipient of this email, you must neither take any action based upon its contents, nor copy or show it to anyone. > Please contact the sender if you believe you have received this email in error. > "Success is often achieved by those who don?t know that failure is inevitable. ? Coco Chanel" Anno MCIP TeT Blake7 Global Senior Executive Director: Directions Move/Change PeopleSoft From giles at gilest.org Fri Sep 16 12:34:39 2011 From: giles at gilest.org (Giles) Date: Fri, 16 Sep 2011 13:34:39 +0100 Subject: [Everyone] Re: Company Slimming Salon In-Reply-To: <> References: <> <> <> Message-ID: <> Eve, Are my results for "Am I company fat or not?" ready yet? If so, I'll come up to your level to pick them up in person if that's OK with you. Any excuse to spend five minutes away from the desk, eh? Ha ha! Since you're next door to IT, please could you ask them to send me a new keyboard because my one's stopped working since I ate those four muffins over it. Ha ha ! Kind regards Giles Client-Vision Liaison Officer (Solutions) On 16 September 2011 12:19, Anno wrote: > OUT OF OFFICE RESPONSE > > I will be offsite on Friday 16th September and respond to your email > on my return. > > If your enquiry is regarding the Excelling through Excellence! > conference please contact Genevieve Wiston > > > If your enquiry is in connection with the immediate redeployment > strategy - or you have questions regarding immediate redeployment > please contact Quentin Lomo > > If your enquiry is regarding changes to the matrix champion network > please contact Limahl Sidwise (nee Baker) > > > If your enquiry is regarding the global senior management leadership > development away weekend in Tangiers please contact Fergus Fergus > > > If you are emailing in response to your results from the "Am I company > fat or not?" online form on portalway please email Eve Truncheon at > the earliest possible opportunity on > > > > > > > > On 16 September 2011 11:55, Giles wrote: >> I have received this message. >> >> Kind regards >> >> Giles >> Client-Vision Liaison Officer (Solutions) >> >> On 16 September 2011 11:50, Phil wrote: >>> Hi all, >>> >>> Giles, this week's Meeting Snack Rations were unfortunately used by Monday morning's Extraordinary Executive Summit. >>> >>> I'm sure that if we all pull together we will see our way out of these difficult times and we will be able to return to the happy days of one rich tea biscuit per person for every meeting at which eight or more people are present, at least five of whom must be clients classified as Liable To Positively Impact Input Streams. >>> >>> Think of that as your inspiration for giving 120% for the next few quarters going forward!!! >>> >>> Thankyou. >>> >>> >>> >>> On 16 Sep, 2011, at 11:43, Giles wrote: >>> >>>> Thanks Phil. Will there be biscuits provided at this meeting? >>>> >>>> Kind regards >>>> >>>> Giles >>>> Client-Vision Liaison Officer (Solutions) >>>> >>>> On 16 September 2011 11:41, Phil wrote: >>>>> Hi all, >>>>> >>>>> Please be sure to attend the usual mandatory Friday "Slimming Salon" in Sir John Harvey Jones at 2pm GMT. >>>>> >>>>> I noted that numbers last week were somewhat lower than they should have been. While declining attendance is to be expected given how many "surplus pounds" the company has shed during this ongoing process of "shaping up" for the "lean times" ahead, all remaining Valued Associates must still be present. >>>>> >>>>> Please note that following last week's tearful speech by Dennis (or "the old post guy" as many of us knew him) after he was shed, there will be no such further such opportunities. All those Associates dropped will be immediately lead from the room by prior-appointed Slimming Champions in order to speed up the "weight loss" process and get the remaining members of the firm young body back to work! >>>>> >>>>> Also please note that if you have been appointed a Slimming Champion for today's Slimming Salon, this does not guarantee that you are not a surplus pound yourself. >>>>> >>>>> Remember, "We're all in this together!" (except those of Level 8 and above). >>>>> >>>>> Thankyou. >>>>> >>>>> >>>>> -- >>>>> Phil BA(Hons) >>>>> MD >>>>> http//:www.pretendoffice.co.uk >>>>> tel: +44 (0)20 7946 0372 >>>>> mob(ile): +44 (0)7700 900837 >>>>> >>>>> "If you really want something you can figure out how to make it happen." Cher >>>>> >>>>> _______________________________________________ >>>>> Everyone mailing list >>>>> Everyone at lists.pretendoffice.co.uk >>>>> http://www.pretendoffice.co.uk/ >>>>> >>>>> -- >>>>> This email and any attachments to it may be confidential and are intended solely for the use of the individual to whom it is addressed. Any views or opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of Pretend Office. >>>>> If you are not the intended recipient of this email, you must neither take any action based upon its contents, nor copy or show it to anyone. >>>>> Please contact the sender if you believe you have received this email in error. >>>>> >>>> _______________________________________________ >>>> Everyone mailing list >>>> Everyone at lists.pretendoffice.co.uk >>>> http://www.pretendoffice.co.uk/ >>>> >>>> -- >>>> This email and any attachments to it may be confidential and are intended solely for the use of the individual to whom it is addressed. Any views or opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of Pretend Office. >>>> If you are not the intended recipient of this email, you must neither take any action based upon its contents, nor copy or show it to anyone. >>>> Please contact the sender if you believe you have received this email in error. >>> >>> >>> >>> -- >>> Phil BA(Hons) >>> MD >>> http//:www.pretendoffice.co.uk >>> tel: +44 (0)20 7946 0372 >>> mob(ile): +44 (0)7700 900837 >>> >>> "If you really want something you can figure out how to make it happen." Cher >>> >>> _______________________________________________ >>> Everyone mailing list >>> Everyone at lists.pretendoffice.co.uk >>> http://www.pretendoffice.co.uk/ >>> >>> -- >>> This email and any attachments to it may be confidential and are intended solely for the use of the individual to whom it is addressed. Any views or opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of Pretend Office. >>> If you are not the intended recipient of this email, you must neither take any action based upon its contents, nor copy or show it to anyone. >>> Please contact the sender if you believe you have received this email in error. >>> >> _______________________________________________ >> Everyone mailing list >> Everyone at lists.pretendoffice.co.uk >> http://www.pretendoffice.co.uk/ >> >> -- >> This email and any attachments to it may be confidential and are intended solely for the use of the individual to whom it is addressed. Any views or opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of Pretend Office. >> If you are not the intended recipient of this email, you must neither take any action based upon its contents, nor copy or show it to anyone. >> Please contact the sender if you believe you have received this email in error. >> > > "Success is often achieved by those who don?t know that failure is > inevitable. ? Coco Chanel" > > Anno MCIP TeT Blake7 > Global Senior Executive Director: Directions > Move/Change > PeopleSoft > _______________________________________________ > Everyone mailing list > Everyone at lists.pretendoffice.co.uk > http://www.pretendoffice.co.uk/ > > -- > This email and any attachments to it may be confidential and are intended solely for the use of the individual to whom it is addressed. Any views or opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of Pretend Office. > If you are not the intended recipient of this email, you must neither take any action based upon its contents, nor copy or show it to anyone. > Please contact the sender if you believe you have received this email in error. >