[Everyone] OUT OF OFFICE AUTOREPLY

[Paul]

The Health and Safety department will be out of their workroom this afternoon but will return at 8am on 19th June. In the event of an emergency please contact Cat in Maintaining Appearances or the emergency maintenance hotline call centre in Mumbai.

 

 

From:   On Behalf Of Cat
Sent: 18 June 2009 15:56
To: Everyone in the office
Subject: [Everyone] OUT OF OFFICE AUTOREPLY

 

The maintenance department will be out of their workroom this afternoon but will return at 8am on 19th June. In the event of an emergency please contact Paul in H&S or the emergency maintenance hotline call centre in Mumbai.

 

  _____  

From: Anno 
To: Everyone in the office 
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 3:48:43 PM
Subject: [Everyone] Re: Nap Room Reopened for business

Paul

Have you locked the nap room? It's just I have a couple of team
members missing and someone was reporting banging and water coming out
from under the door. Can you send a H&S operative to check.

Anno

2009/6/18 Paul :
> Sorry to be a spoil sport everyone but the nap room can’t reopen until my
> health and safety team have checked it over. I’ve just spoken to Louise to
> block book until 5.30pm.
>
> Cat, I appreciate your H&S observations and user instructions and will
> include them in our report, however, please use proper H&S channels in
> future.
>
> If you don’t hear from me please assume that the nap room will reopen at 8am
> tomorrow.
>
> Regards
>
> Paul
>
>
>
> “Ignoring health and safety may result in death”
>
>
>
> From: 
>  On Behalf Of Cat
> Sent: 18 June 2009 13:50
> To: 
> Subject: [Everyone] Nap Room Reopened for business
>
>
>
> Dear All,
>
>
>
> My team and I are pleased to announce that the all new-look nap room is now
> open for business as usual! I'd just like to thank my team - Bosphorus, Lev,
> Pietre, Kojak, Hawkeye and new recruit from the secretarial pool, Sabrina -
> for their stupendous work effort this morning so that everybody can be sure
> of the refreshment that only a refreshing nap can bring.
>
>
>
> A few things I would like to highlight:
>
>
>
> The bed is full of water.
>
>
>
> Please do not wear heels of any kind including those transluscent hooker
> shoes even if they are plastic. They will puncture the matress.
>
>
>
> We have placed some sea sickness wrist bands in a bowl by the bed. Please
> only take one each should you find you need one due to the unaccustomed
> sensation of sleeping on sloppy water. Please do not vomit in the wrist
> band bowl - bags have been provided in the dispenser above the sink in Paris
> Hilton.
>
>
>
> A mop and bucket can be found in the trouser closet - if you do puncture the
> bed, please use the mop and bucket before calling maintenance. Do not call
> maintenance until you have first spoken to janitorial services. We are not
> here to clean up your mess.
>
>
>
> A puncture kit can be found behind the glass on the wall by the door along
> with a mask and snorkel.
>
>
>
> We hope you enjoy your new nap room!
>
>
>
> Cat
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Everyone mailing list
> 
> http://www.pretendoffice.co.uk/
>
> --
> This email and any attachments to it may be confidential and are intended
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> Please contact the sender if you believe you have received this email in
> error.
>
-- 
Anno MCIP
Team Leader
Move/Change
People Solutions

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