[Everyone] The Apprentice

[Paul]

Ward 7, Eagle Wing, Pretend Hospital

 

Afternoon everyone,

I just had to share the news with you all. I've just had an email back from
my new mate Alan Sugar who tells me that I nearly made it onto the
Apprentice! I'll attach the email below.

I hope you are all missing me in the office. Apparently my leg has gone
mouldy. 

Paul

 

 

Dear Paul,

I met you the other day at Pretend Hospital. You are doing very well in what
can only be described as shit conditions. Well done.

I agree you would make a great contestant on the Apprentice. The public
would I'm sure warm to you very much in that chair. We could leave you in
for sympathy for a few weeks then just as the tabloids smell a rags to
riches story, I'd fire you around episode 7.

However, it is unfortunate that we don't have a budget for a disabled person
this time around and it wouldn't make good TV if you were being carried
around and looked after by all the other hopefuls. Maybe next time around.
This time I've got my eye on this transgender bloke / girl which I think
will tick all the right PC boxes without the expense. 

All the best,

Alan

Sugar by name......... Bastard by nature!

 

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